She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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