Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Shame is for Republicans.
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