so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
