Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There r osticjed everywhere
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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