i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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