dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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