Pregnant stripper...not hot.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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