I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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