It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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