So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
