just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
