I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
