Can i not drive my cunt home
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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