please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize