trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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