hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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