that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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