I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize