My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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