Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This is the high leading the old right now
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
