i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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