so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
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I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
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In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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