I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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