dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
