I think im going to throw up on grandma
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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