ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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