she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
These tits shall not be calmed
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
