I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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