New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
organizing the empties. That sober.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
