i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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