Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
