Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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