Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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