it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So apparently I’m into choking now
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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