ugly people sure do ruin things
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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