Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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