would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
