A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
