Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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