Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
