So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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