i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
did i just pee glitter
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
