pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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