I don't usually arrange sex via text message
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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