It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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