Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
