We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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