i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
