how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
