Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize