how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
