My first STD was from a foam party
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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