HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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