I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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