i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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